Grace is Wild

Sometimes there's no more room for anger.  Sure, we can always make more room.  But I've decided it's had taken up enough of my days. 

Not so long ago, there came a day when I decided to open up my clenched fists and take a chance. 

Enough. 

Long enough.  It's been long.  Enough. 

So, I've been learning about grace as it pertains to God.  He gives it freely.  Which then begs the question--why can't I give it freely also?

Well, the answer is...I can.  I can choose to say enough.  Enough anger.  Enough punishing.  Enough wishing things were different.  No more. 

I'm talking about my Dad. 

I know about forgiveness.  I've taught the basics on forgiveness to clients I've had in the past.  I know that harboring unforgiveness only hurts the unforgiving.  It does not hurt the person you feel has wronged you. 

But I think the older that I get, the more I realize that our parents are human, too.  Just like me.  They mess up.  Just like me. 

I've decided to let go of many things in my life over the last few months.  After letting go of one toxic relationship, it spurred me on to keep going.  Keep releasing what is no longer good.  Which brought me to my Dad.  I decided that I will let go.  Of past hurts.  Of disappointments. 

That's not it.  That's not all that grace covers.  It doesn't purely mean forgiveness. 

It means choosing to love. Despite the hurt.  To choose to love my Dad because he is my Dad.  To show up on Father's Day.  To write him a letter letting him know all the things I appreciate about him.  This was my attempt at trying Grace on for size.  Our God gives it so freely.  Who am I to withhold it from others?