more broken hearts...an update

So get this. Look at how God works. I wrote that last entry on Monday at about 6:00 PM. I was driving home and had the thought that i needed to go to church. There's a Monday night service every week at Crossroads called "Hosting His Prescence." It's a time of praise and worship and prayer. I drove straight there. And in a prophetic moment i knew one of the pastors named Chad was going to pray for me that night.

I go in and sit toward the back of church. I saw Chad and thought how in the world am i going to get him to pray for me? Just then i saw a woman named Shannah walk in and immediately i knew she would be praying for me that night too. (Don't be freaked out. The Holy Spirit is good and gives us a heads up sometimes. That's all.) Keep in mind i had no way of knowing if Chad would even be the pastor there on this particular night.

Chad comes up on stage and says: "There's someone here who has a broken heart. You're in a period of grief and you need the Lord to heal it. If you would be so brave to come up here and let me pray for you." There was no waiting. No hesitating. I got up and claimed these words were for me. He met me at the front and i introduced myself. He asked: "Would you mind if i had a friend come up here and pray with us?" I said that would be great. He motions for Shannah to come over. Blown away.

We sit and they pray and Chad puts his hands on my head and told me the Lord empathizes with me and has wept over me. That He wants to heal my heart. My chest was burning. I was bawling. It was as if all the grief in me came up and out. They told me many things that i may keep to myself. But the point is, Jesus heals. I felt it in my heart. I felt Him mending me back together. Taking the grief away. Chad even prayed Psalm 34:18 over me--The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; He saves those who are crushed in spirit. I had JUST put that in my blog. Amazing.

Shannah gave me confirmation and validation that the man i had been dating was not my husband. I think i knew it deep down, but i needed the words from the Lord. And i believe He spoke to me through her. In all my entries about letting go and rain and sadness, i've still been holding onto the grief, maybe even the hope that he would come back. And fight for me.

But Monday night was the night i got to let go. Really let go.

What a gift.

I walked out of church and checked my voicemail on my phone. It was a man calling to offer me an interview for a job i had applied for less than 24 hours before. A JOB people!! Can you believe it??

Now i have an adorable town house to live in, the hope of a job, and a lighter load. He is good.