the old has gone, the new has come

i lift up my eyes to the hills

where does my help come from

My help comes from the Maker of heaven and earth

he will not let your foot slip--

he who watches over you will not slumber

the Lord watches over you

the Lord is your shade at your right hand

the sun will not harm you by day

nor the moon by night

the Lord will keep you from all harm

he will watch over your life

the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore

Psalm 121:1-8

He will not let your foot slip. He will not let your foot slip. He will not let your foot slip.

Deep breath.

He who watches over you will not slumber. Will not slumber.

Deep breath.

It's not been the best week for this girl. Ever had one of those days where you cry out--really, literally cry out--and ask "God, WHAT are you doing?!?!" Well, i've had a week like that. I haven't been living the "yes" this week. I've felt the depth of my "soul holes" this week. The place where it's hard to let God come in and fill. This week i've felt the dark, lonely places in my heart. This week....okay i'll admit it, i've desperately missed the person i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with.

He who watches over you will not slumber.

I've been craving the past instead of craving my future. Instead of hoping. Instead of living the "yes." I've been doing the things i wrote about in my first entry. What do you do when you feel like you're doing all you can and it's still not enough to alleviate the pain?

Rest.

I keep hearing "rest."

He who watches over you will not slumber.

One of things you've probably learned about me by now is that i run to lots of things when i'm hurting. One of those things is yoga. (please understand that yoga is not a religion or a substitute for the Lord for me. It's just a safe place to go and just "be.") I went yesterday afternoon and after an hour of vinyasas and balancing poses, we came into final savasana--which is the final resting pose in yoga. After a few minutes in savasana, the instructor told us to get in the fetal position on our right sides. She then said something i've never heard before. She told us that this pose symbolizes that everything we came into class with is now gone. The past is gone. It symbolizes going forward and leaving the past behind. All i could think was the old has gone...the new has come (2 corinthians 5:17).

The old has gone, the new has come.

Today is a new day. A new chance to live the "yes." A new opportunity to allow the Lord to fill the holes in my soul that nothing else can fill.