Now What?

It's been a while.  I think i needed a break from writing.  But the time has come to begin again.  

I lost my job a couple of weeks ago.  Yep.  I am O.K. though.  Granted, i was a bit of a mess that first week.  The second week was more interesting.  I went to church for the Monday night service and received prayer for my newfound predicament.  I felt instantly lighter.  

You see, i have a choice.  I can wallow in the disappointment of losing a job.  I can look to the future with fear.  I can adopt worry into every moment of my day.  I can hustle to find another job.  In my own strength.  And i did that.  In the first week.  I contacted everyone i could think of out of desperation.  Where will i work?  Will i have to move? What now? Words like "hopeless" and "failure" frequently entered my mind.  

But once i decided to try the peace of Christ on for size, my outlook changed.  The fear dissipated.  My confidence returned.  Not confidence in myself and in my abilities but confidence that my Savior actually knows what He's doing.  

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God--what is good and acceptable and perfect. -Romans 12:2.  

But be transformed by the renewing of your minds.  

What if this new development in my life is actually an opened door?  What if it is a new opportunity?  A new chance?  This morning i started reading back through my journal and found what i wrote quite interesting: "My job.  Stay or go?  Jesus, bring another one if there is a better one out there for me." I could sob that i wrote that.  I'd forgotten i had those thoughts.  

So i will be expectant.  I will trust that the Lord knows what He's doing.  I will trust that in the midst of what appears to be a storm--I am going to be O.K..  I will choose to remember that an overwhelming circumstance is actually an invitation to practice great faith.  Perhaps, to dare greatly.  It's an opportunity to look back at my life and realize that every time a door has been closed, He's opened another, and I've been better for it.  Every time.