Waste of Makeup

If you're anything like me, you sometimes get bogged down in the day-to-day.  Sometimes i feel like i'm on a hamster wheel and i'm just doing today what it is i did yesterday--simply because it's what i did yesterday. Sometimes i feel like i'm just passing the time. 

I don't think that's the way we should be living.  

Here's the thing.  I am a christian. I am an imperfect person living in a crazy world.  I make mistakes daily.  I just happen to know my need for grace....my need for a savior. It's so easy to fall back into old patterns.  Perhaps too easy.  So, this morning, i find myself questioning why? Why do we fall back into old patterns of behavior that have been proven not to work?

Well i was setting my radio alarm clock last night before i went to bed and i heard a pastor giving a sermon.  I usually would just click the radio off and go to bed.  But he said something that struck me.  Something i already knew.  Something i've even blogged about.  But i needed to hear it again.  He said "when we fall off the path that Christ has laid out for us--it's not because we're bad people. It's because we've lost sight of our identities. We've forgotten who we are."  Ugh. So. Incredibly. True.

I've been on this hamster wheel lately.  Consisting of old behaviors that i'm just using to pass the time.  For example, I've recently gone out with people that i wouldn't normally go out with (bad spellers and all ;)).  Most of the time, it feels like a waste of makeup and a good outfit.  The thing i'm coming to realize is that when we don't know who we are, we are much more likely to settle.  And you know what?  I am EXHAUSTED.  (Though sometimes i'm entertained and come away with good stories to tell---i'm exhausted.) Because here's the thing:  When i'm reminded of who i am and whose i am---what i will settle for begins to drastically change. The junk--the crumbs from the table i've referred to so many times--no longer even feels tolerable. I think when we really begin to grasp God's love for us, there is a paradigm shift that takes place.  Once we know love--real love from a Savior--we cannot unknow it.  We may go on with the day-to-day and ignore what we've come to know, but it's my belief that once you know the truth--you return to it.  And then the things you've settled for so many other times will begin to fade into the background.