from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. psalm 61:2

Authenticity. noun. The quality or condition of being authentic, trustworthy, or genuine.

I think authenticity is a word that means being true.  Staying true to who you are.  The footnote here is that you actually find out who you are.  You accept who you are--flaws and all. 

Just in the last couple of days this notion of authenticity keeps coming to mind.  It's so easy to get off the path and go down rabbit trails of our own makings, without consulting God.  I think we all do that from time to time.  We often do life in our own strength.

So, i can sit here and write about how amazing my life is or i can get real with you for a second.  Today, life is not awesome.  It's good--don't get me wrong--but it is not awesome.  Maybe because my grandmother died a couple of weeks ago.  Maybe because i had surgery to have my wisdom teeth removed last week and am just now able to eat solid food.  Maybe it's because i saw Snow White and the Huntsman the other day and i cannot shake the darkness that IS that movie (kidding. sort of).  Maybe it's because i find myself missing a handful of friends that either don't live close by or they've moved onto different stages of their lives. 

In the spirit of remaining thankful, i will say that i call myself blessed.  But what i really want to do (and not just write about doing) is this--i want to surrender my life to the One that is higher than me.  Daily.  I want to tell Him that i cannot do today in my own strength.  I want to start fresh. Daily.  So many times i try to plan out my life according to what i might think it should look like. Here's the reminder for today: God's ways are higher than my ways. I've tried to paint my own canvas these last several years.  Since college. Play the part.  Let society tell me where i should be in my life at this point. Well. I'm done with that.  I want His plan.  It is the desire of my heart.  I want the plan that is unique to me.  The One He had in mind before the world began.  His way is better. And i'm thankful that even on days when i question my life, i return to the truth.  He is still God.  And He is still in control.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. proverbs 16:9.